Depression, I'm Leaving You!

Today, I am going to lighten up,
throw the drapes open wide at the windows,
allow the light to dissolve the gloom in the room.
Darkness has suffocated
the rooms of my heart long enough.
And, when I audition
a trembling smile in the mirror,
I'll ignore the sweat bees of guilt
that circle and sting me into submission -
then I'll do it again for practice.
I'm awake now -
unnecessary guilt is the Great Betrayer,
not the other way around.
Today, I will trust the Joy.

Forget the obligation to grief
with it's sackcloth and ashes,
push back the heavy coat of somber
in that closet of sad,
remove the grey garments,
and kick them to the curb.
I'm taking my yellow shirt
out of mothballs,
trashing that bottle
of Bitter-Pill-to-be-Swallowed,
that one-a-day I ingested
so voluntarily in former days.

I want to gather dandelions
rather than roses,
to bury my face
in those soft ruffled heads.
I want the warmth
from those tiny suns
to be my fuel.
I am weary of thorns,
of regret pricking my heart
and making it hemorrhage
the sweet things of life.
I want to eat
a dripping ice cream cone
for breakfast, to let
that sweet goodness
get on my hands, to get on me.
I want to eat dessert first.
I want Duty to stand in the corner.

Depression, I'm leaving you!
I'm picking myself up
and dusting myself off.
I'm acting as if
I'm carefree,
until I believe it,
in this yellow shirt
I'm wearing,
as I set out -
to save my own life.